Semler Talks Religion and the Journey to Authenticity through Music
It was 2020 and Semler’s work had just dried up. The pandemic was taking hold, contracts were disappearing. They had nothing else to do but think, reflect and write. And that’s exactly what they did.
Through the forced isolation imposed on most of us by the COVID-19 pandemic, Grace Semler Baldridge (professionally: Semler), confronted everything - and nothing was off limits. From queerness to family, religion to identity, Semler unpacked decades of reckoning. When the fog of creativity and reflection lifted, they walked into the living room and told their wife, “I think…I just wrote a Christian record.” And so was born their album Preacher’s Kid.
Semler spoke with Amplify Her Voice about the inspirations behind the unplanned creation of their latest record and how they’ve come to find new meaning in the Christian music genre for themselves.
Tell us about Semler.
I was born Grace Semler Baldridge, but the name “Grace” is so heavily-gendered. I liked Semler because it’s much more gender-neutral and it’s a family name. That side of the family was very musical too, so it’s nice to be able to honor that. My dad was a priest, so I grew up in rectories in Waterloo, Belgium. I’ve always been passionate about music and grew up listening to Christian artists - you know, because that was all I was allowed to listen to! If I wanted access to music outside of the Christian genre, I had to get my friends to burn me CDs in secret. But that meant I could teach myself music, really experience it for myself. As a result, I became very well-rounded in my tastes.
Outside of music, I played basketball and busied myself with normal, school kid stuff. In hindsight, I see it for the avoidance tactic it was. I came to the United States for college to play basketball and tore my ACL almost immediately. That’s sort of where my journey of self-discovery really kicked into high-gear. I could no longer hide behind my identity as an athlete, I couldn’t run from myself anymore. A part of my journey I have always held close was my songwriting. I had always used journaling to cope privately, but publicly I used humor. I even came to Los Angeles to pursue stand-up and found work in entertainment hosting. But I continued writing in my private time, slowly sharing some of my work with close friends. I was so nervous about how my work would be perceived - I never held back in my writing, even using honest pronouns while bearing my soul.
At what point did you feel comfortable enough to publicly transition from entertainer to singer-songwriter?
I started working in Los Angeles doing internet hosting and odd jobs as a creator. I even got to do a docuseries about the intersection of faith and American life. The last episode we filmed was on the state of the Christian music industry - a very mysterious genre that can generally move beyond reproach. Having grown up in that genre, I thought it would be a fun little check-in with my past and upbringing. Well, we wrapped the episode and I came home just to be locked down due to the pandemic. Taking time to reflect on the docuseries, I was filled with questions and a lot of unresolved parts to my upbringing in a heavily-religious environment. I realized I had been carrying weight that wasn’t mine and holding opinions and points of view in so as to not make anyone look bad. During lockdown, though, all of that washed away and I retreated to my roots of songwriting - more furiously than ever. I was finally processing my religion and reconciling it with my queerness, honoring who I am wholly and authentically. I finally came out of my reflection and joked with my wife, “I think I just wrote a Christian record.”
Wow! What an incredible journey. What kind of catharsis did that bring about?
After all of the writing and reckoning I’ve done, I feel I can finally bring you the best version of myself. It’s hard to explain, but I feel more like myself now. Five years ago, I was like a sculptor working on who Semler is. I was close, but the past few years have really shown me that I can look in the mirror and say, “Ahhh, THERE you are.” And I think that’s what led me to write so honestly and come to grips with my faith and how I want to authentically express it.
So what does your religion look like for you now?
I’ve always found a great deal of comfort in faith and prayer and the connection to what I believe to be the Divine Creator. But my conflict has been when other people put barriers in the way of how I should connect to the Most High. There would be periods of my life when I was closeted and repressed - gleefully attending Youth Group while feeling absolutely dead inside. Through writing my first record, I actually began to feel most connected to that little kid who wanted to worship. Now, I feel more curious about and connected to God than I ever have been. And, for me, part of that means being honest about my doubts and questions. So, looking into scriptures and putting them into the context of my life has opened me up so much more. I no longer feel the need to apologize or justify to anyone who doesn’t understand my faith or my identity. I can express my perspective on God while also challenging the Christian music industry to talk more about pluralism and perspective that is absolutely present throughout Christianity.
Earlier you spoke about the Christian music industry being very insular. Have you received pushback from artists and others in the industry?
Absolutely, I have. Whether it’s from Christian media or listeners, I’ve heard the dissenting views. And, you know, I understand it. When you are deep within a protected world, a person like me would be very challenging to accept. However, there’s a strange benefit to being a queer person of faith because any criticism someone is going to give me, I’ve probably heard before. I haven’t met a single queer person of faith who hasn’t undergone a lot of internal work to reconcile with their faith telling them who they are supposed to be. So when I hear disapproval, I try not to receive it. Because at the same time, I also vehemently disagree with the way most Christian artists use their platform and their faith. I’m definitely not quiet about how it’s not really okay for Christian artists to be cagey about saying how they feel about things like human rights. My faith tells me to be real specific about social justice issues like that.
What about the other side? Do you hear from the progressive and LGBTQIA+ communities about your presence in the Christian genre?
I hear that as well, yes, and I completely understand and validate that criticism. I think Christians have been so disproportionately harmful for purple in marginalized groups. I want to receive that criticism because it’s valid and there needs to be active harm reduction and radical change with the Christian community. Additionally, when I’m in queer spaces, I’m never EVER going to pull a “Hello! Do you have a moment to hear about your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?” I don’t believe in that, in further triggering someone who may have been harmed by religion. My religion is about me being honest with myself and who I pray to in the language that I’ve developed.
Tell me about your shows. What experience do you aim to cultivate?
My main goal is to make sure my shows are safe for anybody - and I mean that: anybody. That’s my responsibility as an artist. I used to hear at Christian artist shows that “all are welcome,” and you know that’s just not fucking true. Yes, Semler shows are formed through Jesus language and scripture, but I don’t want to negate others’ experiences in Christian spaces. Of course I’m not naive, I know I’m not for everyone, but fortunately I don’t aspire to be for everyone. Essentially, if you’re looking for a praise and worship evening, I would not necessarily recommend a Semler show. But if you’re looking for praise and rage, come on in! If you want a taste of what it’s like to party with me, listen to my track Thank God for That.
Who are some up-and-coming artists that we HAVE to listen to?
Great question - this is basically going to end up just being a list of my friends, I hope that’s okay! I have to give a shout out to Jax Anderson who produced my song Late Bloomer. There’s also Enny Owl who is just an incredible folk singer - the kind of stuff you listen to while out for a walk on a fall day. You definitely have to listen to Miki Ratsula too, they’re incredible and they have a new album coming out very soon. Finally, I have to shout out Frances Grove whose song Get Well Soon made me cry. They have also been through the journey of unpacking a religious background and I remember listening to that song thinking, “We’re going to be okay, we’re not alone.”
What’s next for you?
In the short term, I’d like to get more shows going in 2022 - a tour with a full band would be great. So far, it’s just been me and my guitar on stage, which is great! But I’d love to build a really fun, more robust show. I’m also writing all the time, so I’m sure you’ll hear some new music in the new year.
Looking further, I’d love to produce a body of work worthy of winning a Grammy in the Christian music genre. When we talk about God, the fact that it’s a heterosexual, cisgender God that we’re white washing is simply absurd. So I’d love to produce something that’s expansive - just like God - that will disrupt the Christian music industry.